It’s that time of year again! Can you really have a horror movie binge without watching some Jason movies? Sadly, we didn’t get another actual Friday the 13th this year, so I settled for starting this on Friday the 12th. If you’d like to catch up on parts 1-3 you can find last year’s post here.
The Final Chapter
In Part III I commented that they broke continuity by switching over to roman numerals. Well this movie breaks it again by tossing out the idea of numbering the movies at all. I had to go look up what the 4th movie actually was because I’m no super genius but I feel like this won’t be quite the final chapter it set itself up to be.
But enough about the name of the movie, let’s get into the movie itself. I’m in absolute shock that a 4th movie in a series was able to get some good actors in it. This movie has Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman who make this more than just a dumb slasher movie. Both of their characters have a well established personality that makes you actually care about them. Crispin Glover plays a nice guy who just wants to be good in bed but is a terrible dancer. His character arc comes to a climax when he sleeps with a woman who tells him he did good. Just when you’re feeling happy for the guy, he goes and gets himself all murdered. In a slasher movie, I should’ve been expecting this, but I honestly thought he’d be a final guy. I wanted to get a screenshot of him dancing, but the quality isn’t that great and you can’t get the right feel… so how about a video?
Now for little Corey Feldman who plays the main non-Jason character. He’s a young boy who enjoys making masks and practical special effects. He also knows a lot about cars and is totally fine asking a strange hitchhiker up to his room to show him his mask collection. Super weird kid, but ends up totally saving the day at the end. I’ve seen this movie in bits and pieces before, but I always remember a kid at the end who shaves his head and his hair is all patchy. Corey Feldman is the shaved head kid. He shaves it to try and look like Jason so he can like get inside of his head and mess with him. It sort of works… but so does the machete. This is one kid that knows what’s up in a horror movie and finishes the bad guy off.
As far as the bad guy himself goes. Well… I have the same criticism I gave to Part III. I hate supernatural, unkillable villains because there’s no suspense. You know he’s going to be around the corner, you know he’ll find you where ever you go, and you know you can’t kill him. At one point, his big plan was to climb up the side of the building, wait outside a window for one of the girls to walk by and then when the moment is just right punch through the glass and pull her out the window to her death. A lot of the kills in this movie just annoyed me because they were so convoluted and unrealistic. I shouldn’t have expected more, but I did.
A New Beginning
What a surprise, it wasn’t really the final chapter. It didn’t even close off the plot line because little Tommy is back in the next installment as a grown man with some serious PTSD. I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of the end because this movie was so unwatchable.
About 15 minutes in, we’re introduced to 2 of the worst characters in the series, the hillbilly mother and son.
In one scene, the son rides around in circles on his motorcycle screaming like a mad man. It was the worst offense to my ears since Ghostland. This alone was enough for me to want to shut the movie off, but it gets worse. We’re also treated to, what appears on
the surface, to be a scene of some random guy killing a “kid”. The cute little kid on the right here. Take a look at this adorable little guy. He’s balding with a 5 o’clock shadow and look at him, he has chocolate all over his face and hands. Silly kids, they’re so messy! He ends up getting murdered for being really annoying which means pretty much nothing for about 80% of the movie. That is, until the ending where the killer isn’t actually Jason, but the father of the dead kid! What a twist! He pretended to be Jason to get revenge on the people that… didn’t murder his son and had nothing to do with it. Clever move, sir.
Oh and there are some real classic moments in this one, like one guy having to take a shit really bad in a disgusting port-o-potty when wouldn’t you know it, “Jason” finds him. Oh crap! And how can I forget the latest shy guy who just wants to confess his love to a girl he likes. Well, she literally laughs in his face. It’s so sick and twisted that I was hoping she would be the one to die next because out of everyone I think she might deserve it. Is that what ends up happening? Well, you take a guess based on the track record of these movies.
Just like Part 4, Part 5 ends with the audience being firmly convinced there will be some continuity in these movies. Jason’s still dead, and it turns out that Tommy’s gone insane and is now going to take up the hockey mask and machete in his place. I can’t wait to watch Tommy as the bad guy in the next movie because that’s what’s set up in this movie and that’s definitely going to happen.
First off, I have to talk about the title… the full title is Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI. So not only did they decide to go back to roman numerals, but they also wanted to keep the sub-title as well. Did they take those 3 components and roll dice on which one goes where? This title doesn’t make any sense. Call it Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. Or scrap the Jason Lives part, or the roman numerals… anything but making up a new naming scheme. I want some damn title consistency, you’re ruining my format for these posts. Between the title and the first 10 minutes, it tells you all you need to know. Forget about Tommy turning into Jason because that isn’t happening. Then prepare yourself for the realization that this series is now a total joke. Feast your eyes on Jason, reflected in an eyeball pretending to be 007. Hilarious!
Obviously, Jason comes back to life in this one and and he isn’t happy. Tommy is trying to stop him and everyone thinks he’s crazy and making it up. What follows is Jason murdering lots of people but the police going after the wrong guy until they realize he’s right. Of course by this point it’s too late.
The acting in this one is atrocious at times and as usual the decisions the characters make are out of this world. Little girl brings you a machete covered in blood and you think it’s a practical joke? I’d at the very least be slightly worried. Jason’s kills are kind of ridiculous too. Like he really enjoys squeezing people’s heads because he does this a lot. Not that I care much either way but his M.O. is supposed to be machete kills. At this point though he’s pretty much invincible since he can survive as many bullets as you can shoot. Since he’s so invincible, the ending just baffles me. He gets chained to the bottom of the lake by a large rock. The chain around his neck isn’t that tight so I think he could just slip it off. Or since he has the super strength to break skulls, he can just break the chain or walk along the lake bed and drag the rock with him. Maybe next year I’ll find out that that’s exactly what he did so that he’s able to appear in Part 7. I can’t say that I’ll be excited to find out because these movies aren’t fun to watch anymore. All they are now are murder set pieces by a supernatural thing with no compelling narrative or characters.
I know these movies aren’t meant to be taken too seriously, but I really thought they did a good job with the first 2 so it makes me sad to see how bad they’re getting. As much as I didn’t like these, I’m committed to finishing the series so I’ll be back next year for Parts 7-9, or whatever they’re called now… Part 7: Jason’s Still Alive: Friday the 13th?