Movies

Husbands and Wives (1992)

Next up is another TSPDT movie, but I’m skipping ahead a few here since I watched Oasis and L’Humanité before I started blogging about TSPDT. For completion sake, I may one day reach back into my memory and try to post about them, but for now, I’m moving on to #997, Husbands and Wives, which is a Woody Allen movie about marriage.

I’ll start off by saying that this definitely isn’t my favorite Woody Allen movie out there. I’m starting to realize that his movies where he’s one of the leads are kind of all the same. I enjoyed the first one I watched, which I believe was Annie Hall, but now I’m just getting bored with him. In Annie Hall, I at least remember laughing a little, but this one I didn’t find very funny for a “comedy”. On top of not finding it very funny, I really disliked most of the characters. In fact, the only two characters I didn’t dislike were Sally and Michael. To me, the rest of them were pretty despisable. You have Woody Allen’s character going after a 21 year old when he’s over twice her age, and Jack who I thought was going to murder his new girlfriend after the party where she embarrassed him. I watch a lot of those true crime documentaries and that’s exactly how it starts. Some dumb fight blows up and suddenly you’re dead in a ditch. I mean how am I supposed to watch these characters when they’re doing such awful things and just being gross human beings? I need someone to like and be able to relate to, and I just wasn’t getting that.

I’m just not feeling this movie at all. There are better Woody Allen movies out there like Annie Hall or Midnight in Paris that I’d rather watch. This isn’t a bad movie exactly, I just don’t think it was great enough to make it on to this list. I won’t draw this one out anymore.

Verdict: 6.8/10 Don’t get in the car!

PS: I’m also skipping the next one, Dead Poets Society, because I watched that pre-blog as well. Next post will be a long one about In Praise of Love… see you then!

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Movies

Sorcerer (1977)

sorcererHere I am back to the beginning of TSPDT with #1000 of 2018, Sorcerer. The title makes it sounds like a fantasy movie, but it’s actually about these men that have to drive boxes of extremely volatile dynamite in these rickety trucks through the jungle without getting blown up. The second half is at least… Full spoilers ahead because I want to talk about everything.

This movie starts off extremely slow and for me was rather disjointed. I didn’t  understand what was happening or what I was watching. I know now that this was the introduction to the characters we’ll be with throughout the movie and sort of showing where they came from. As I was watching it though, I found it hard to pay attention. Almost exactly half way in I started to understand where the movie was going. The men are going to drive the dynamite through the jungle and try not to get blown up. That’s where it really starts to get interesting. If you read my January 2018 post you’ll already know the bridge scene was absolutely incredible and one of my favorite scenes. It had me on the edge of my seat… my eyes were wide with fear and my stomach was in knots. Then just when you think it’s over, they do it again! This time the crossing was even more difficult. Seeing the truck almost tip over was so suspenseful that I was like a woman in an old timey movie grasping at her pearl necklace. That entire scene was just masterfully done. If you read about it, they built an actual bridge over a stream for around 1 million dollars… then the stream dried up. So they moved the bridge to another stream… and the stream started to dry up. Finally they said, “That’s it, bring in the helicopters and firehoses!” and they created a storm so no one would notice the stream was so low. That’s so awesome! Look up there at my screenshot and tell me that scene doesn’t look amazing? They probably would’ve just fixed it in post if this was made today…

But seriously, hold on to your hats because that isn’t even the only awesome scene in the movie. Right after it they come across a giant tree that’s fallen on to the road blocking their way through. One guy wanted to try and cut through it with a machete, but another guy decided, “Hey we have dynamite… let’s just blow it up!” Blowing that log up reminded me of Le Trou in a big way because you watch them create some device piece by piece using seemingly random every day objects and as it progresses you start to see where it’s going. That guy was a genius for figuring out how to move it off the road. It might’ve been in a thousand thousand pieces, but hey… whatever works. So you finally get through that scene and think you’ll be able to take a breath. Nope… one of the trucks explodes! It was so quick and unexpected. I actually didn’t see it coming even when the tire blew. I thought, “Well here’s another situation where they’ll come up with a way to survive.” But nope… kaboom!  Then they actually showed the dead body… man this movie had some gruesome scenes in it. After that they’re down to just one truck of dynamite and I’m not sure if I liked where the truck dies and he has to carry the box by hand. I think it was one thing going wrong too many. The ending just felt too fast and I wish it had been drawn out a little more. It didn’t really detract from the movie as a whole though and I was still left with a good feeling afterwards.

Stick with this movie through the first half because the second half is absolutely why this deserves to make it onto the list. I might’ve had to start from square one again, but I’m very glad I did.

Verdict: 8.2/10 We follow the map!

Movies

For Your Eyes Only (1981)

for_your_eyes_only_2.png

I feel like shaking things up a bit and reviewing a movie that isn’t a TSPDT movie for a change. I’ve had a long time quest to watch all the 007 movies in order and so far I’ve made it part way through the Roger Moore era. Up to this point in the series he is definitely my favorite bond. He’s sophisticated and can toss a little bit of humor in to the mix as well. As far as this particular movie goes, there was no pigeon double take like the last one, but there were some dumb scenes as usual for this series.

What I really didn’t like in this movie, which honestly seems pretty normal for the series up till now, is all of the women. Their acting is horrendous… I could do a better job. Bibi, or whatever her name was, was the worst thing about the entire movie. How old is she supposed to be? At one point she whines, “I want to win the gold medaaaaaal”. Is she really supposed to be an Olympic athlete? And then she tried desperately throughout the movie to seduce Bond. Are they trying to make some reference to the fact that the 60s era bond used to sexually harass women so now they’re doing like a wink and a nudge by having her do it to him? Help me figure this out because I don’t have any other explanation for this abomination of a character. The bond girl of this movie wasn’t any better. Instead of being over the top campy, I wasn’t even sure she was a live human being. She had almost no emotion on her face ever. All her lines were delivered completely deadpan. I guess she was beautiful enough for the part though… that’s all the matters… right?

Enough about women… let’s talk about the fancy gadgets and action scenes. I know this movie is from the 80s but I couldn’t stop laughing at that fancy facial ID machine. It was like some green wire frame “image” of a person and they were able to find out the guy’s name and literally every little fact about him in 30 seconds. I guess something had to move the plot along, but that was too funny. Then there was that stupid hockey fight scene. They actually played the goal sound whenever bond kicked a guy into the net. This movie is so cheesy and ridiculous. The cliff scene was kind of cool though and the car chase wasn’t bad. There were a lot of action scenes in this one and they all sort of balance out to make them average as a whole.

I can make all the jokes I want about this movie but this is what a 007 movie is. Big, over the top, spectacular action scenes with dumb one liners. The only critique I’ll give is that I don’t think the villain was very good and the story wasn’t interesting enough for me. This is definitely not the worst bond movie by any stretch of the imagination though. I’m not upset that I watched it and I don’t think you will be either. Until next time when I’ll be back in Octopussy!

Verdict: 7/10 For your eyes only… man getting bit in crotch by shark

Movies

Forbidden Planet (1956)

forbidden_planet.pngContinuing on with my messed up out of order reviews, next up is Forbidden Planet which now sits at #843 on TSPDT. I messed up even worse this time around because I had this movie sitting around for months and wanted to clear out my to watch list so I watched it without even knowing it was a TSPDT movie. I initially only wanted to watch it because it’s quite highly regarded as one of the top sci-fi films. It’s about these men that land on a forbidden planet and there’s a robot in it and cheesy romance, and a young Leslie Nielsen.

I’m a big time fan of sci-fi… it’s definitely my favorite genre of movie, but this one just didn’t do it for me. I can see why it could make it on the list because the effects and the ideas were pretty advanced for 1956. Unfortunately I just didn’t enjoy the story at all. In fact, I zoned out part way through the movie and as a result I don’t really have too much to say about it. The sci-fi aspects were fine I suppose, but it’s the romance that really didn’t work for me. In fact, you could say I hated the so called romance plot line. How dare that woman wear such revealing clothes? Look at her up there. Doesn’t she know how slutty that makes her look? She’s such a distraction to the men who can’t control their urges. Show some respect for yourself and cover up those arms and v-shaped section of your chest. You know, just like Leslie Nielsen is doing… look how covered up he is. It was also great how the men kept trying to take advantage of the fact that she didn’t really know much about hugging or kissing. Very classy… just stick your tongue in someone’s mouth who has the sexual maturity of a child. It also used the 50’s story telling device of making people fall in love after a few days of meeting. Seems to be very common in the 40s and 50s but it’s always bothered me. They barely know anything about each other but are somehow in love. Right, I definitely believe that. Now I’m so invested in these character I really hope they make it. End rant.

I don’t have anything else to say about this movie. That “romance” was so distracting that I didn’t even care about the sci-fi elements. I didn’t really enjoy this and I would only watch it for completion sake.

Verdict: 6.4/10 Not suitable for children on account of those sexy sexy arms!

Movies

January 2018

It’s been a decent movie month for me, I watched 25 movies in total with a good mix of great and awful, new and old. I won’t go so far as to rank each one like I did for Halloween but I want to talk about my favorite movies of the month and some of the disappointments.

Best of the Best


Le Trou (1960) – 9.3

I’ve already posted about this one and said all I have to say. This was the clear winner for the month by far.

Man vs Snake: The Long and Twisted Tale of Nibbler (2015) – 8.7

This movie is similar to The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters where it follows an old school classic gamer as he tries to beat a world record. This is the 2nd time I’ve seen this movie and it was still just as good as I remember. It’s inspiring and always leaves me with a good feeling after I watch it. It motivated me to log on to my game and keep farming for my mount (which I happened to get that same night!).

Anomalisa (2015) – 8.3

This is a really really weird movie where all the characters are puppets and are mostly voiced by one guy. I hated the first 15 minutes of it so much that I almost shut it off, but I stuck it out and wow I really liked it. The romance story was beautiful and captivating, and it’s really interesting and different. Definitely give it a shot, just don’t be put off by the beginning.

Sorcerer (1977) – 8.2

I’ll be doing a post of this one in a few weeks so I guess this is a spoiler of the fact that I really liked this movie. I don’t want to take away from that post so all I’ll say is that the bridge scene alone makes this movie worth watching.

Columbus (2017) – 8.0

I thought this was going to be really boring but I ended up liking it a whole lot. It’s just about 2 people walking around talking about architecture and reflecting on their lives, but the people and their discussions are really interesting. If you like slow talking movies, give this one a shot.

Worst of the Worst


Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994) – 5.2

This was not funny at all… I only watched it to finish off the trilogy. Just painful.

Lemon (2017) – 5

This is the worst movie I watched in January. It was so unfunny that it actually made me mad. The main character has a scene where he shits on the toilet and we have to watch the whole thing. Seriously… what a waste of my life. This was awful and I’m sick of these awkward characters who have no filter on their mouth. They say whatever pops into their head, no matter if it’s disgusting, inappropriate or racist. Maybe it was funny the first time, but it’s played out now… do something new.

Biggest Surprise


The Boondock Saints (1999) – 7.4

I didn’t give this one a high rating, but I liked it so much more than I thought I would. I really enjoyed watch a young Daryl from The Walking Dead. This was just a fun movie and I think I’d even watch it again.

Biggest Disappointment


Patti Cake$ (2017) – 7

I almost didn’t even want to admit how disappointing this was but I feel like I have to be honest. I wanted to see this movie again after my post about how much I loved it. I think I watched it too soon though because it wasn’t as mind blowing as I remembered. I started to notice all the imperfections and flaws. It was still good, but it was just that… good, not great. I’m so disappointed because I really wanted to put this one on my regular rewatch list and now I don’t know if I will. It just makes me so sad when movies fail the rewatch test.


Overall this was a pretty good month even with the 5s I had to sit through. February looks promising and I’m hoping to watch some of the Oscar nominees that I haven’t seen yet. Of course, I will continue watching movies off TSPDT list and trying to catch up on my reviews of them. You can expect my next one to come out tomorrow as usual.